Harry Homocidal 2
by MKL
Summary: well, Harry's back for more bloodshed, and this time it goes beyond the walls of Hogwarts! more main characters are killed, and even more random characters get humorously slaughtered.
1. the missing knife or killing family

Homicidal Harry's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Chapter one Harry Potter,the-boy-who-lived-and-then-killed-voldemort, sat up in bed and cackled. He had just had the most wonderful dream; he relived the fond memories he had in Hogwarts, when he had killed most of his friends, enemies and acquaintances. Upon putting on his glasses, he reached for his trusty knife on his bedside table, near his alarm clock (which was in two separate pieces), only to discover that it was gone!  
  
His eyes glowed in the dark as he looked around his room foe traces of the crook. He did not find it. So he left his room and entered Dudley's. He pulled out the shovel and leapt at Dudley, he shrieked as the shovel came in contact with his head. Soon, Harry shoved the shovel up the head and scooped out his brain.   
  
Dudley's brain was now frying onthe pan and was fed to the Dursleys. No later, they found Dudley dead andblamed it on Harry. Harry quickly went toward the kitchen knives and stabbed his Uncle with each knife. Harry's Aunt screamed and ran like a bitch. Soon, she ran into the dead remains of her husband and was knocked out. Harry decided to chop off the head and use it as an ass scratcher. With every use, he always said, "how does it feel, asshole?"  
  
After dispatching of the Dursleys, Harry decided to go on another rampage of fun. He quickly packed his bag with mementos of his victims: a piece of Colin's spine, Hedwig's blood stained feathers, and so on. He boarded his broomstick, and allowed himself to throw pennies on the heads of people's heads below, and giggling when they cried out in pain. He then flew into his destination: Diagon Alley.  
  
Landing in Diagon alley, he thought he spied a head of red: a Weasley. He followed that head through the crowd until finally it was alone, it was Mrs. Weasley. She turned and saw Harry standing there.   
  
"Oh! Hello there Harry dear!"  
  
"How was your su-"   
  
She couldn't say anymore, Harry's shovel was in her throat. She gurgled and fell to the ground.  
  
Harry quickly found an empty closet in Knockturn Alley. He putted the corpses of Molly Weasley there. Soon, Lucius Malfoy was walking with his NEW fuckin' pimpcane. He was humming Magic Stick by Lil' Kim feat.cent. Harry remembered his vow to kill the pimp-ass father of 'Draco' and stalked him with silent giggles.  
  
As he turned and went into Knockturn alley, Harry's already huge smile widened even more-if that was possible. He picked up his broomstick and…  
  
"AGH!" He rammed it into Lucius Malfoy, making a hole in the beloved pimp-coat. The other pedestrians in Knockturn alley simply brushed by, carefully avoiding the profusely bleeding man. Harry left him in the street to die, and hummed The Magic Stick as he searched for his next victim.  
  
Harry was wandering Diagon alley, looking for fresh meat when he thought he saw his trusty knife! Wielding his shovel he followed the person who was holding it, and saw that it was Lupin.   
  
"That fucking bastard!!!"  
  
Harry dived for Lupins back and shoved his shovel through his ass.  
  
Harry's shovel smelled like shit, so he left it in Lupin's ass. Besides, he had his trusty knife back! So he killed a random person, testing if it was his knife. He's happy and now laughing madly. This was his only thought:  
  
Hogwarts. 


	2. Back to hogwarts kids!

Chapter 2  
  
Harry flew as fast as a really pointy arrow, and made it to Hogwarts in ten minutes flat. He stopped quickly in the shed to get a new shovel, and made his way to the castle. As he wandered into the great hall, he killed some kid's owl as it flew to the tables, and scooped up the bloodstained note.   
  
Have fun at Hogwarts, Denny! Mommy loves you! He read.   
  
Of course. Dennis Creevey. Just the kind of person he wanted to see. The perfect victim.  
  
So Harry waited until Dennis walked out of the hall, he didn't notice Harry following him. Harry actually decided to speak to him before he wanted to murder him.   
  
"Hey Creevey." Harry grinned evilly.  
  
Dennis turned  
  
"Oh! Hey Harry" Dennis Murmured, seeing Harry reminded him of Colin.   
  
Harry stepped closer until their faces were almost touching, then stabbed him in between the eyes! Dennis gaped at the knife sticking out of his forehead.  
  
"Harry! You were the o-" he tried to say, before crumpling to the ground, dead.  
  
Harry used the knife to scooped up one of his eyeballs and saved it for his next victim, Professor Trelawney.   
  
Trelawney had a secret. She always wanted to be an American "gangsta". So when no one's looking, she wears her special bling and baggy jeans. She was rapping to the song, (In da club 50 cent). She had pimps as friends (NOT from Hogwarts) and she was secretly a whore.  
  
That day, Trelawney was expecting something. It was a vague feeling in the back of her neck, that usually told her that she need to buy more milk, or that she'd get mail from her dear old mother, telling her to give more money to the nursing home. She had wondered all day what her inner eye was telling her. Just as she slipped her bling around her neck, the feeling intensified 'I must be getting a cold soon' she decided, but it was her last thought, as Harry had snuck up behind her, and choked her on her own bling. Harry put Dennis's eyeball in Trelawney's lap.   
  
"There's her inner eye!!!" he cackled, and he quickly threw her, and an unsuspecting first year down the stairs  
  
What Harry didn't know was that someone was watching him as he threw them down those long, dark stairs. He was cackling when he saw movement. "A spy??!!" he shrieked and chased after the shadowy figure. When he tackled it and knocked them down he saw that it was Cho, his crush!!!   
  
"You bitch!!!" He screamed and plunged the knife into her stomach. He sat there laughing and watched her slowly die in pain, the blood staining the floor.  
  
Soon enough, he went back to his dormitory (since Ron, Neville, Seamus, and Dean died, he now has the room to himself). He wanted to kill more! MORE! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! So he went out of his room and saw Terry Boot humping Cho's remains.  
  
Harry quickly dispatched of Terry with a set of wizard chess and a pack of cards. Many bystanders were injured in the mayhem. From the shadows, yet another dark figure watched the carnage. But this figure was prepared.   
  
"HARRY! Look!! a random first-year!!"   
  
Harry looked up for the student through his blood-stained glasses. The shadowy figure leapt forward and placed Harry in a large cage. As it ran forward, the figure removed the cape, revealing himself to be....DOBBY.   
  
"Harry Potter needs help. Harry Potter must go to therapy!" said Dobby forcefully. 


	3. Escape from 'buddha's' castle

Chapter 3  
  
Dobby left Harry sitting in the cage, rocking back and forth, his eyes wild. He does not like to be caged. After an intense hour of chewing his fingernails and clawing at the floor, Harry saw Dobby coming back. He stood up and started shrieking like a monkey, Dobby backed away a bit and motioned to a tall, darkly dressed person behind him. The person stood in the light of a window, illuminating his glasses and very baldhead. Harry stared in amazement.  
  
"Its Buddha…"   
  
He whispered, whipping out his knife. The person was actually a psychiatrist but ignored Harry's stupid talk.   
  
"So, You're Harry Potter?"  
  
"...I think." Harry replied.  
  
"Mmm-hmmm. So, What's wrong Harry? Is something bothering you?"  
  
"I only killed, like, 23 people! there's no way in hell something is wrong with me, Buddha!"  
  
The psychiatrist looked at him skeptically and got up.  
  
"I'll come back tomorrow, when he's calmed down."  
  
Dobby watched him go, but ran screaming when Harry started aiming a throwing knife at him.  
  
Harry spent the night in the cage muttering "no blood today, no blood today."  
  
Harry, unfortunately had farting and masturbating problems, so sleeping in a cage wasn't paradise for him. Harry had his right had on his crotch and his other on his trusty knife. Now, some demon has entered the same chamber. Strangely, this demon can travel in dreams.  
  
"Heh…let's see what Icky Harry is dreaming"  
  
Soon as the demon did. He saw Harry dancing with his knife in a cloudy area. Faeries and cute cuddly bears were dancing as well. Soon, Harry used the knife to chop of each bear's head and ass. Then, using his wand, he made a spell for Blood to rain down. Then he slashed everything in sight. Harry wore a crazy-but-evil smirk and cackled.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Such gore too horrid for the eye!"  
  
Soon enough, the demon exploded. The dead demon was, indeed, Freddy Crouger. Harry woke up. He was smiling about tall the blood around his cage.   
  
Soon, he was hauled out of the cage by a man in white, and brought back into the psychiatrist's office. The man swiveled around to face Harry.   
  
" So...Harry" he began. "I think you need some medication…"   
  
He held out his hand, and Harry looked up into his reflection in 'Buddha's' sunglasses and shiny bald head. 'Buddha' opened his palm.   
  
"The red pill, or the blue one, Harry?"   
  
Harry stared blankly.   
  
"It comes in to colors." explained 'Buddha'.   
  
Harry chose red. it reminded him of the lovely blood....  
  
"Alright then!" said 'Buddha'. "Let's talk, Harry, How do you feel about your parents?"   
  
Harry looked thoughtful.   
  
"My dead ones? I like them"   
  
Of course, he liked anything thatwas dead. 'Buddha' wrote something on his notepad. Harry picked his nose.Finally, 'Buddha' looked up.   
  
"So, Harry. I hear you've done some...bad things. Not that you're bad Harry, but sometimes good people do bad things…"   
  
Harry spoke up. "Erm. Yeah. Whatever. Can I kill something now?"   
  
He whined. "I want my kniiiiife.…"  
  
'Buddha' sighed and stuffed some red pills in Harry's mouth. Before passing out, Harry dreamed that he fell down a rabbit hole and killed a big-ass rabbit.  
  
Harry woke up hours later after having many dreams of himself in drag. He looked around and didn't know where he was, he reached for his trusty knife to find it missing! He screeched like a crazed monkey and bounced around the walls, yelling curses and telling 'Buddha' that he would kill him good.   
  
Dobby walked into the room, unafraid now that Harry didn't have his knife.   
  
Dobby smiled and said, "Harry potter must calm down, He must get better!"   
  
Harry leapt for Dobby, killing instincts on high. He ripped and tore and bit, clawing at Dobby until he collapsed, his eyes gored out along with his heart, Harry, bloody on the hands and mouth, went in search of his knife. Once he was outside, he thought he saw something in the distances kept walking until he saw that it was 'Buddha', standing in a stream of light, his bald head twinkling. 


	4. The final deaths or killing 'buddha'

Chapter four "So you have come for your knife, I see" Buddha said as he slowly pulled it out.  
  
Harry wanted to shove that knife up 'Buddha's ass so bad, he'd wish it was a dildo. Out of nowhere, a dude in a black robe (it looked like) with dark glasses all the sudden flew to 'Buddha's head. The head was chopped off and revealing a small red locket.  
  
"Sorry if my bitch was pissing you off," said the dark-eyed dude-stranger.  
  
Harry just blinked.  
  
"Who the fuck are you"  
  
"I'm Ne- uhhhhhhhh….ville. yea, I'm Neville"  
  
Apparently, this was a mistake because all the sudden, Harry grabbed his knife.  
  
"You sick bitch!!!!!!!! How did you survive????"   
  
Harry continuously stabbed him in random places, never knowing 'Neville'.   
  
Harry spotted the red locket and immediately, his knife find it's way to the heart of the locket. Harry opened it up and revealed a picture of Dolores Umbrige.  
  
It said: Neo, Thanks for last night. Remember to bring flavored 'ones' next time  
  
Lover, Dolores   
  
Harry made a face. How gross was that? He decided to add Dolores Umbridge to the top of his 'people to kill' list, which included everyone in the world, except Mr. Fluffy, the rabbit and a hobo named Bob who had given him his first knife way back when he lived permanently on Privet Drive. (Of course, Petunia had confiscated it soon after).   
  
He quietly walked out of the asylum, (though he decapitated three patients, and disemboweled two-but he did it silently.) He stole some change from the security guard after he hacked him to pieces, and made his way to the subway. After hacking a turnstile to pieces, and gouging holes in the walls of the train, he sat down in a plastic seat and glowered at his fellow passengers. He tapped his foot. A man read a newspaper, and others looked out the windows like zombies.   
  
'Damn' thought Harry, 'these people are already dead. They're no fun'   
  
He exited the train without killing one person. He made up for it by killing a group of giggling teens outside. He looked around the city, and made his way to the leaky cauldron.  
  
He walked in and surveyed the room, many people turned to stare at the famous boy, rather afraid of him because of the rumors they have heard. He walked to the counter and asked the bartender for a beer.   
  
"No way, you're just a kid" the bartender said.   
  
Harry grinned evilly at him and whipped out the infamous knife.  
  
"Beer or die" Harry said.  
  
The bartender took one look at the knife and gave the crazed Harry the beer. Once Harry was in a buzz he disemboweled the bartender anyway, everyone was too drunk by then to notice. So Harry wandered between the tables, killing random people, at least the ones who looked at him nasty (which was almost everyone).   
  
He finally walked out the back and into Diagon Alley. He leaped onto the back of a pedestrian and beheaded them. Everyone nearby fled for their lives. Harry threw his knife at the back of ones head, and when he ran over to retrieve it, he looked straight ahead and spotted his prey...Umbridge.  
  
Harry stalked Umbrige after seeing her pay some male-whore dancing slutty and fucking her on the spot. It was horrid for Harry, considering seeing something ugly humping anything her size. After she was done, Harry snuck up on her.  
  
"Hi bitch, 'member me?"  
  
Umbrige shrieked, but obviously not in time, since now her breast were chopped off. Harry was pleased, thinking that she can finally feels how to be a freak, the bitch. Harry then slashed her face and she fainted. Harry threw the corpse at her male-whores since they were witnesses and died quickly due the corpse's weight.   
  
Harry, after all this, had been walking around for what seemed like, to him, 100 years. He wandered out onto the streets, lazily waving his knife around (and nearly hacking off a large number of noses and fingers while doing so). He wandered off into Hogsmeade (though no one ever did find out how he managed to get there in his state) and walked up to the shrieking shack.  
  
The few people standing near the shack (mostly kids who wanted to prove their bravery, or horny teens hoping for some privacy) watched him in silence. Harry pulled open the door, and stumbled inside. mumbling something that sounded like "fuck you all little fuckers…you killed my fucking father before i got the fucking chance…" in the general direction of the spectators.  
  
Finally, he found what he had been looking for. He collapsed onto the dusty, moldy bed in the shrieking shack, and was instantly asleep. His dreams were filled with Knives and blood and lots of lovely victims, whom he could kill over and over. A sick smile appeared on his face. No one could wake him.  
  
People still stayed even farther away from the shrieking shack once they heard about the deranged hero inside. Wizard children were told from then on, that if they were bad, the bloodthirsty monster inside would wake up and kill them.  
  
Because who knew when he might comeback?  
  
*~*~*~*Alternate Ending!!!!!!!!!!!!!*~*~*~*  
  
Harry explored the city , there were many people, but somehow Harry felt no desire for bloodshed. He swung his knife around like a child with a baseball bat.   
  
As he wandered toward an alleyway, he thought he spied Hedwig, and slit her throat, or at least he thought that was Hedwig, there were so many of her all around him, he screamed as he slashed with his deadly knife. Soon the ground around Harry was covered in thick blood, his eyes crazy, he kept having strange thoughts. Had all the killing finally got to him? He stumbled out of the city, ready to fight off all the Hedwigs he saw. 


End file.
